Dad Jokes + Beer: The Ultimate Father’s Day Gift Guide

Your dad has enough socks. He’s got tools he doesn’t use, mugs that say “#1 Dad,” and that one BBQ apron he’s been wearing since 2003 — the one with the faded flames and mysterious ketchup stains.

So, what do you get dad for Father’s Day when he grunts instead of gives you actual gift ideas?

You give him something funny. Something useful. Something with beer on it (or better yet — in it). You give him a reason to actually wear a new shirt, crack a smile, and maybe even tell the same joke for the 14th time, with renewed pride.

Because here’s the truth: dad jokes are better when he’s holding a cold one and wearing a shirt that makes your aunt uncomfortable.

Wait, What Do You Get Dad for Father’s Day?

1. Beer Shirts That Say What He’s Thinking

He won’t admit it, but your dad loves getting compliments on his T-shirts. Especially when they involve puns about ale, hops, or questionable life choices.

Our beer shirts are:

• Actually funny (not “I Paused My Game to Be Here” energy)

• Made from 100% cotton that won’t disintegrate after one wash

• Perfect for BBQs, breweries, and late-night fridge raids

Browse our tees that cling to all the right places.

2. Special Taproom Drafts (aka STDs)

Yes, we named a shirt collection after something your mom warned you about.
But trust us — these STDs are worth catching.

The Special Taproom Drafts lineup features:

• Limited-edition designs

• Puns so layered even he might miss them

• Guaranteed awkward glances from the neighbors (win-win)

Check out the STDs Collection.

3. Pint Glasses Built for Bad Pour Decisions

Pair his new threads with a custom Cochrane Balzac pint glass.
Bonus points: It looks classy on the shelf but still gets a laugh when people squint at the logo.

Shop for pint glasses on the site.

4. BBQ Aprons That Talk Trash So He Doesn’t Have To

If your dad considers grilling a competitive sport — or just likes standing around it while holding a beer — he needs one of these.

These aprons are 100% polyester (so they hold their shape and keep their colours, wash after wash) and 200% sass. Each one comes pre-loaded with enough bad jokes, hot takes, and beer innuendos to make him the unofficial MVP of Father’s Day. They’re functional, washable, and loud in all the right ways.

Here are a few customer favorites:

Gone Maria Apron
Hot the night before, burns the next morning. If your dad eats spice like a dare, this one’s made for him.
Shop Now

Calm Lydia Apron
When you’re itching for a pint. Great for the laid-back legend who’s more chill than charcoal.
Available While it Lasts

I Was in the Pool Pilsner Apron
Now sold in stubby bottles. Proudly worn by dads who overshare.
Grab One Before Your Brother Does

5. Let Him Choose His Own Pun-Venture

Still can’t decide what to get dad for Father’s Day?
Grab a digital gift card and let him pick his favorite double entendre. That way you don’t accidentally buy the wrong size or shirt that references something he won’t get.
Gift Cards Available Now

Want to Know Where All This Started?

Cochrane Balzac Brewing is proudly Canadian-owned and rooted in Cochrane, Alberta.

We’re a fake brewery — but the jokes, the gear, and the love for cold beer are 100% real.

Meet the crew and read our full story here.

Not Just a Gag Gift 

Sure, it’s funny. But here’s the thing — it’s also weirdly useful. These shirts, aprons, and pint glasses? They actually get worn. Used. Washed (maybe).

This isn’t a novelty that ends up in a drawer next to the Bluetooth meat thermometer he never figured out. It’s a gift he’ll put on, laugh at, and probably spill something on while trying to show it off at the next BBQ.

So yeah — it’s hilarious. But it’s also personal, wearable, and just left-field enough to make him feel like you really know his sense of humor (for better or worse).

Funny + practical + unexpectedly perfect? That’s a win.

Why Beer Shirts Actually Work

They’re wearable. They’re personal. And they’re way more useful than another Yeti knockoff.

Buying a Father’s Day gift for father types doesn’t need to feel like a last-minute panic scroll. A well-placed pun on a soft cotton tee goes a long way — especially for guys who say “I don’t need anything” while staring longingly at the fridge.

Need Backup? Here’s a Plan

Put together a full Dad Day kit:

• One shirt from the STDs lineup

• One apron for when the grill gets serious

• One glass for “just one more”

• A cooler, some steaks, and a playlist that includes Steely Dan? Optional but encouraged.

Why It Hits

It’s not just the shirt. It’s what it says (and doesn’t say).

The laugh you get when he opens it. The smirk he gives when he puts it on. The fact that he’ll actually wear it — again, and again, and probably again.

Father’s Day isn’t about going big. It’s about getting it right.

Final Sip

Father’s Day is about celebrating the guys who taught us how to ride bikes, dodge chores, and pretend we know how to fix a leaky faucet. The ones who replaced deep emotional talks with dad jokes — and beer.

So this year, skip the cliché gifts. Get him something that actually hits.

Because dad jokes hit different when he’s wearing one on his chest.

Shop the Full Tap Menu and find something he’ll wear until retirement. Or at least until laundry day.