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About Cochrane Balz
Brewing & Cider Co.

The Greatest Brewery to Never Exist

Shop Now – Get Your Balz Out

How Our Balz Dropped:
A Drunken Origin Story

Like most legendary things, it started with beer and bad jokes.

One night, a few drinks deep, we realized beer names are basically porn for puns. So, after a few more rounds (and absolutely no business planning), we decided to put those filthy beer-fueled thoughts where they belong—on high-quality, laugh-out-loud apparel.

Are we brewing beer? Hell no—that sounds like work. We’re just here to make sure you’re dressed appropriately for your next bender, barbecue, or questionable decision.

Our Shirts Get More Action Than You Do

We make beer-inspired, balls-out apparel designed to get you noticed, laughed at, and possibly groped (consensually, of course).

  • T-Shirts – Soft, sexy, and always down for a good time.
  • Hoodies – Snuggle up in something that won’t ghost you.
  • Pint Glasses – Grip it, sip it, love it.
  • BBQ Aprons – Protect your meat like a true grill master.
  • Bar Signs – Because your home bar deserves as much attention as your bad decisions.

You know you want it.

Get Your Hands on Some Balz
Drinking for a Cause <span>(No, Really)</span>

Drinking for a Cause (No, Really)

Sure, we love beer, boobs, and bad jokes, but we also give a damn.

For every sale, we donate $1 to the Breakfast Club of Canada, because while we love a dirty joke, we give a damn about kids getting a decent meal.

So every time you buy a Cochrane Balz tee, you’re feeding a kid and making your wardrobe a little filthier. That’s what we call a win-win.

The Balz Are Growing: Spread 'Em Wide

What started in Cochrane, Alberta, has now spread across Canada, the US, and beyond. Want to see our Balz in your city? Buy a shirt, start a movement, and help us go balls deep in the apparel world.

If you’re into beer, sex jokes, and bad decisions, congratulations—you’ve found your people.

Now put some Balz on your chest and make your wardrobe way more inappropriate.

Get Your Balz On – Shop Now