Types and Styles of Beer: Why Your Lager Isn’t Hitting Like a Stout (And Where They All Actually Come From)

It’s Friday night. You crack open a lager expecting fireworks, but it’s more of a quiet whisper. Meanwhile, your buddy’s stout feels like it’s punching his taste buds with a velvet glove. That difference? It’s not your imagination. It’s all in the types and styles of beer, and yeah, the glass you’re sipping from doesn’t hurt either.

Let’s sort through what makes a pilsner prance, a porter punch, and a saison strut like it owns the joint. Buckle up. We’re going back to where beer began, and why your beer glassware and your sense of humor matter more than you think.

Beer Isn’t Just Beer: A Crash Course in Styles

Let’s start by killing the myth that all beer is basically the same in a different can. Not even close. There are hundreds of types and styles of beer, but they all come down to two families: lager and ale.

Lagers ferment cold and slow, which gives them that clean, crisp taste. Think: Budweiser, Heineken, Coors Banquet, your go-to for grilling in socks and sandals.

Ales ferment warmer and faster, usually bringing bigger, bolder, and often fruitier flavors. We’re talking IPAs, stouts, porters, saisons. These are your conversation pieces, your main character beers.

And within those two worlds? Sub-genres galore. Like the MCU, but instead of capes, it’s foam and hops.

Origin Stories: Europe Made Beer a Character

You didn’t think beer showed up in a frat house, did you?

• Germany gave us helles, dunkels, and the ever-popular pilsner. Crisp, refreshing, and dangerously easy to drink while yelling at a soccer match.

• England brought us bitters, pale ales, porters, and stouts. These are beers you sip by a fireplace while pondering bad decisions.

• Belgium? Wild cards. They introduced fruity lambics, spicy saisons, and high-ABV tripels that sneak up like a drunk uncle at a wedding.

• The Czech Republic (shoutout to Plzeň) is the proud home of the OG pilsner. Light, hoppy, and always down to party.

• The U.S. came in swinging with IPAs; bitter, bold, and brewed like we’ve got something to prove. Because we do.
  

Every country added its own flavor (literally) to beer. Now, beer’s less of a drink and more of a passport.

Why Your Lager Isn’t Hitting Like a Stout

There’s a reason a stout feels like a warm blanket and a lager feels like a cold slap to the face, and both are totally valid vibes.

• Lagers are light-bodied, crisp, and usually lower in alcohol. They’re for mowing the lawn, tailgating, and acting like you know how to BBQ.

• Stouts and porters, on the other hand, are roasted, rich, and thick like your aunt’s gravy. They’ve got layers. Chocolate, coffee, smoke, oats, each sip a mini dessert.
  

If your lager feels flat next to a stout, it’s because you’re drinking the equivalent of iced tea next to an espresso. Wrong drink, wrong moment. Fix that, and fix your glass, too.

Speaking of Glasses: Your Beer Deserves Better

Yes, we’re about to go there. You wouldn’t drink wine out of a Solo cup (well… maybe), so why drink a craft stout out of a chipped mug with your dentist’s logo?

Let’s match vibe to vessel:

• Lagers? Show them off in our Prairie Oyster Glass. Smooth, balanced, and appropriately offensive.

• Stouts and porters? Give them the respect they deserve with our After Dark Mug. That mug is as bold as your drink.

• The wildcard saison or hazy IPA? You need something like the After Dark Pint Glass - sophisticated, just a little dangerous.

• Want to channel Lydia’s chaos? Go with the Calm Lydia Glass. It won’t make you smarter, but you’ll look cooler pretending.
  

Yes, the glass changes the experience; just ask anyone who’s tried drinking champagne out of a shoe.

Lager, Meet Culture: How Beer Reflects Who You Are

Some beers are more than beer. They’re identity in liquid form. Wearing a shirt that says “Crotch Hops IPA” while sipping a porter in a branded glass? You’re not just drinking. You’re making a statement.

That’s why people go all-in with their look. Our fans wear their favorite funny beer shirts like jerseys, and our barbecue aprons have seen more meat than a Vegas buffet.

You’re not just showing up; you’re showing out. You’ve got taste. And that taste includes mildly inappropriate puns and a love for good beer.

Style Breakdown: The Beers Worth Arguing About

Here’s where things get spicy. These are the beer types that divide friends, ruin relationships, and start bar fights (the fun kind).

Pilsner (Czech or German)

Crisp. Clean. The beer equivalent of a dad joke, predictable but satisfying.

IPA (India Pale Ale)

Hoppy. Bitter. Bold. You either love it or you’re lying to yourself.

Stout

Dark. Roasted. Sometimes sweet. Basically a coffee milkshake with a buzz.

Saison

Spicy, funky, and weird. Like if your beer had a Tinder bio that said “loves fermentation and long walks through wheat fields.”

Wheat Beer

Cloudy, citrusy, and suspiciously wholesome. Pair with a citrus wedge and deep denial.

Sour

Tart and intentionally funky. Not for the faint of heart or anyone named Chad.

Beer Style Isn’t Just Taste; It’s Occasion

Choosing a beer isn’t just about flavor. It’s about the moment.

• Backyard BBQ? Lager or wheat beer. Keep it light and social. Bonus points if you're rocking one of our BBQ-ready shirts.

• Holiday gift for Dad? A stout, a stein, and a pun-covered shirt. Nailed it.

• Post-breakup funk? Belgian tripel. High ABV. No regrets.

• Flexing beer trivia at the bar? Grab a saison and prep with 50 Beer Facts.

So, What Should You Drink Tonight?

Easy. Drink the beer that fits your mood, your outfit, and your level of adulting. And drink it in a glass that’s made for it. You want the full vibe? Don't sip a porter out of a coffee mug. Don’t throw a lager in a red solo cup and expect magic.

Oh, and while you're making bold decisions? Match your beer with the right glassware, rock a shirt that’ll make grandma squint, and be the person at the party who gets remembered.

You’re not just drinking beer; you’re becoming beer’s spirit animal.

Beer Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All, and Neither Are You

If your lager’s falling flat or your stout’s too much, it’s not about loyalty; it’s about context. Types and styles of beer aren’t just a menu; they’re a toolbox. Pick the right one, pair it with a glass that slaps, and match it to the moment.

And if you really want to commit? Grab the gear that lets the world know your taste buds wear flannel, appreciate a good pun, and would absolutely name a pet “Yeastie Boy.”

Need help finding that vibe? Check the latest shirts, bold-ass pint glasses, and BBQ aprons. 

Because great beer deserves a great outfit.