7 Funny Beer Shirts So Good, You’ll Wish This Fake Brewery Was Real
You don’t need to crack a cold one to get people laughing—sometimes all it takes is a shirt. And if that shirt just so happens to feature a hilariously suggestive beer label from a “brewery” that doesn’t technically exist (but really should), well, now you’re the funniest person at the bar, barbecue, or beer fest.
We built Cochrane Balz Brewing & Cider Co. on the sacred foundation of dad jokes, beer culture, and puns so naughty you’ll squint twice. Our brews may be fictional, but our merch is very, very real. And if you’ve been looking for funny beer shirts that are as wearable as they are laughable, this is your moment.
Here are seven fake beers that deserve to be poured… or at least worn.
1. Her Bees Lager
At first glance, it sounds floral. At second glance, you’re laughing so hard you spill your drink. Her Bees Lager walks the fine line between risqué and ridiculous, and somehow lands perfectly in both. This tee is a crowd favorite for those who love a good innuendo that buzzes just enough to raise eyebrows, but not enough to get you kicked out of Grandma’s cookout.
It’s a unisex fit that works for anyone brave enough to sport it, and pairs perfectly with someone asking, “Wait—what does that say?” Trust us, they’ll read it twice.
Want to see more beer-flavored humor that stings in all the right ways? This shirt leads the hive.
2. Peyronie’s Pale Ale
Shop Peyronie’s Pale Ale T-Shirt →
Let’s talk about curves. Not in your dating profile—but on your beer label. Peyronie’s Pale Ale is the kind of shirt that makes people laugh, cringe, and awkwardly Google “Is that a real thing?” (Spoiler: it is.)
Designed for guys with a sharp sense of humor and zero shame, this tee is bold, anatomical, and weirdly educational. Bonus points if you wear it while explaining the condition to your friends—over a pint, obviously. And yes, the “twist of citrus” joke practically writes itself.
It’s one of the more legendary options in our funny beer shirts lineup, and a true conversation starter if you’re into… unique curves.
3. Golden Sour Radler
Shop Golden Sour Radler T-Shirt →
Sour? Yep. Golden? You bet. Radler? Depends on your definition. Golden Sour Radler is what happens when your favorite refreshing summer beer and your least favorite rash get together and make a joke too good to ignore.
This tee is for the beer lover who isn’t afraid to wear a punchline across his chest and grin while explaining it. Is it a reference to a tart beer or to that one time you should’ve worn better swim trunks? Both. Maybe neither. That’s the beauty of it.
Throw it on for your next brewery tour and watch the beertenders smirk in solidarity.
4. Old Nut Ale
We all know him. Maybe you are him. The guy who thinks he’s still 25, cracks jokes older than his kids, and insists his homebrew is “award-winning” even though no one’s tasted it in a decade. That guy wears Old Nut Ale proudly.
This shirt is a tribute to dads, grandpas, uncles, and anyone who’s ever yelled, “Now that’s a beer!” while reaching for a lukewarm can from the back of the fridge. It’s rustic, cheeky, and the ultimate Father’s Day gift—especially when paired with this classic dad joke collection.
Whether you’re an Old Nut or just know one, this tee says it all—without saying a word.
5. Winter Ale (Unisex)
Winter Ale may sound cozy, but this design brings the heat—and just the right amount of chill. Imagine a beer that tastes like snowflakes and testosterone. Now put that vibe on a shirt.
With a clean, modern layout and just enough sass to earn a second glance, this unisex tee works for snowplow dads, cabin dwellers, and anyone whose idea of winter survival involves six-packs and snowball fights. It’s the cold-weather go-to for people who like their beer hearty and their humor dry.
Bonus: it layers well under flannels and flasks.
6. Peach Cider
You sweet little rascal, you. Peach Cider is equal parts fruity and filthy (but in the most approachable way). This unisex shirt walks the line between "Aw, how adorable" and "Should I be laughing this hard at a fruit pun?"
Wear it on date night, cider tasting tours, or any time you want to casually weaponize innuendo without saying a word. It’s especially popular with women who want a cheeky shirt that still feels cute, or guys secure enough in their fruit-based humor to sport one in public.
This tee’s got peach appeal—no shame in that cider game.
7. Oyster Porter
Oh, it’s creamy. It’s salty. It’s suggestive as hell. Oyster Porter is the shirt that people either get right away… or wish they hadn’t. And that’s the point.
Inspired by actual oyster stouts (yes, that’s a real beer style), this tee leans into the maritime mischief of it all. It’s the perfect gift for the uncle who still tells that same beach joke every summer or the friend who’s just a little too into seafood.
Wear it with confidence, and maybe don’t explain it too fast. Let ‘em squirm. Then sip.
Bonus Round: Why Our Shirts Make the Brewery Feel Real
We may not brew the beers, but we sure as hell brew the energy. Cochrane Balz Brewing & Cider Co. exists at the intersection of beer culture, dad jokes, and semi-inappropriate wordplay. These shirts aren’t just wearable—they’re a lifestyle.
They’re made for:
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Bar regulars with sharp tongues and soft bellies
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Backyard grillmasters who wear aprons year-round
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Craft beer snobs who still laugh at “pull my finger”
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Gift givers who want to make their dad, partner, or best friend snort-laugh over a T-shirt
And because our brewery is proudly fake, we’re not bound by ABV limits or brew licenses—we can be as unfiltered as we want. But our shirts? 100% real, printed-to-order, and built for repeat wear.
If you're still not sure which shirt screams you, check out what your beer says about you for some extra character insight.
Want All of Them? Your Closet’s About to Get Hoppier.
Cochrane Balz Brewing is the only “brewery” where you leave buzzed on laughs, not beer. So whether you're shopping for your weird uncle, hilarious best friend, or yourself (because you deserve joy), these funny beer shirts are more than a wardrobe upgrade—they're a personality flex.
Grab one. Grab seven. Just don’t forget the matching pint glasses and barbecue aprons. Because the only thing better than wearing the joke is living it.
